How to: Move From Panic to Poise During Solo Travel
We’ve all seen the curated photos — the perfect sunsets, the morning coffee in a quaint café, the airport aesthetic while boarding. But what happens when the reality is packing your bags an hour before leaving, “limited luggage space” on a full flight, a boarding pass that won’t scan, and canceled reservations?
Table of Contents
1.The Issue | 2.The Strategy | 3.The Case Study | 4.The Invitation
1. The Issue
So, you’re struggling with internal panic. That’s completely normal. In fact, I faced the exact same challenge. This past weekend, even. The sinking feeling in your chest that whispers, “I can’t make this work,” or “I shouldn’t have waited this long to confirm everything.” This fear of things going wrong is a leading cause why many women keep their travel dreams parked on their Pinterest board rather than booking the flight.
Last Friday, I was rushing home from class with an hour to spare to pack my bags. I got to the airport for a flight within the EU, so I had my passport and visa, but not much else. Tap pay on my phone, ID, phone, apartment keys, and clothes for the weekend. Nothing else needed, right? Well… Right before taking off, I realized that the ferry I intended to take from one island to another would stop running for the day, before I land. Okay, that’s fine. I can take a bus. It’ll take twice as long to get there, but hey. It works. Still calm. Look at the bus schedules. Also, will stop before I arrive. Cool. Still calm. I have my driver’s license with me, I can just rent a car. So, I find a good deal for airport pick-up, make the reservation, get the confirmation email. (1) Your license must be valid for at least 12 months prior to the reservation (I only have my Dutch license on my person and it’s new since I just moved) (2) You must have the physical card to pay with no tap-pay option (I don’t have a single card physically with me) (3) All drivers under 25 must pay an additional per-day fee (I’m under 25). *Cue panic. What am I going to do? I can’t take the ferry, I can’t take the bus, I can’t pay for the car rental, and even if I could, my Dutch license is too new. I’d been planning this trip since last November, and I had a reservation that started the next morning at 8. I had to get to that island that night. That’s when I remember The Strategy.
2. The Strategy
While I can’t guarantee that what I did will be your magic fix, by sharing my solution, I do promise you’ll have an extra tool in your toolkit that could help in the future. When I was faced with this problem, I felt fear, defeat, panic, and shame. Through good ‘ole trial-and-error over the years, I found 3 key steps that drastically flipped the script in situations like these. Here’s my professional playbook for you, laid out bare.
The 10-Minute Rule — Give yourself exactly 10 minutes (put a timer on your phone… seriously) to be furious, scared, cry, vent… whatever you need. But once the timer dings, we immediately move into “solution mode.”
The Think Tank — Write down the problem as if it were a manual. “First, [issue number 1] happened when [action that prompted it]. Then, [issue number 2] followed as a result of [action that prompted it]. Next…” Now read it over in the mindset of, “This is a story I’m reading of something that happened to someone else.” When you remove yourself from the situation, you can think more clearly about what solutions there are.
Ask For Help — We never have to do it alone. It’s not weak to ask for help; it’s possibly the strongest thing you can do. Others have “failed” before you and learned from the situation… ask them what they did that worked. Or if you don’t know anyone who lived through the exact same situation, simply ask someone else to help you find solutions.
3. The Case Study
Now, I would absolutely love it if you took what I say at face value. And while I truly hope we can foster a deep, meaningful trust between us, I don’t assume you will believe me automatically. For that reason, I’ve done a little digging. Here’s a real-world, studied phenomenon that applies to the logic I’ve laid out for you in The Strategy.
Psychologists have studied the Theory of Cognitive Appraisal for decades. This is what happens when we view an event happening to us and determine its significance to our wellbeing — (1) Is this important to me? (2) Can I cope? When we view a mishap as a threat, our brain freezes. But when we view it as a challenge to be solved, our creativity kicks in. By using my 3-step toolkit, I turned “disaster” into an unexpected 12-hour adventure through the coast of Norway. I realized that the “worst-case scenario” happened, and I was still standing. That is where true confidence is born.
4. The Invitation
You read the title of this page and thought, “Wow. I really want to know that.” Or, maybe it wasn’t until you read The Issue that made you realize you struggle with the exact same thing. Perhaps you didn’t even think that you have this issue, but you were curious, and when reading The Strategy, you found some useful nuggets of wisdom. Regardless of what step you first connected with, if you’ve made it this far, you got value from this. And for that, I am eternally grateful. Thank you, truly, for spending the last few minutes with me while reading.
If this resonated with you, to any degree, and you want more — you have a desire to start changing your life in a way that feels genuine, free, and you… I invite you lean into that pull on your heart. I would love to have a conversation with you — hear your fears, your dreams, your goals. No commitments, no expectations, just a conversation. I’ll be waiting with an open heart. Talk soon.
P.S. I did end up able to rent a car, drove to my destination, and made it to my reservation the next morning… even managing to get a little sleep.
